A request for prayer

For the last few months I have been volunteering at a Pregnancy Care Center. I'm in training to be a counselor for women who have either planed or unplanned pregnancies. I'm close to the end of that training but I still have some more observing to do. The biggest surprise to me is that the part of my training I've not finished is counseling the girls who are considering abortion. I have not been able to see many because not many have come in while I have been there. This is a good surprise but I know that there are many girls out there that think abortion is there only option and I want to learn how to listen and be there for them. I have throughly enjoyed this new experience and I'm  hungry to learn more.

I have been so challenged with this that I am not sure exactly what my niche is. I feel that chisel shaping away and it's a bit scary.  Ya know that fish out of water feeling? I've got it. Most of me feels like that means God has me right where He wants me. A smaller part of me thinks that maybe that's God saying move on Alisha your done here. I think the later is just those old nerves and that sly little lie that satin whispers in my ears whenever I feel unusable. So all I can do is just keep praying for God to use me and that I will listen and have the courage to be faithful to his prompting.

 I have been hearing some challenging things lately from either Church or Bible studies, things like "you can't steer a ship until it's set in motion" or "choose the things that are too big for you but not too big for God" and "love the people who are unkind to you with sincerity". That last one "uff da!".  God is working on me and I am enduring the shaping with hesitation and excitement. It's never easy to "let go and let God  . . ."  I'm learning this in a new way this year. I have to trust God that my words will plant seeds and that He will do the rest. Soooo not easy to never see the fruit of the labor and I always question weather I could have done something better. I'm not sure if the pregnancy center is exactly where God wants me but I have set it in motion, I hope to be setting  some other things in motion as well that will bring even more challenges to my introverted spirit. (uhhhh can you see me scrunch my face with fake delight?)

I ask that you would pray for me and my husband during this shaping. Before I started at the center they told me several times that I would have to deal with some spiritual warfare. "If you want to work on the battle field then you have to prepare for a battle". The next day we had to endure a situation that not only delayed my application to the center but made me ask "do I really want this?" That whole loving those who hurt you with sincerity is going to be my hardest lesson yet. I believe that satin can cause warfare in obvious ways, like the above situation, but also in very subtle ways. Distractions like anger, anxiety, loneliness, homesickness ect. all take away from focus my on God. I ask that you pray that I will listen to Gods direction, that I spend time learning to hear His voice, That I learn to listen to the Holy Spirit and speak with boldness.